I took the weekend off from posting old journals and poetry
to take some local trips, not as far as Woodstock, but half way there to Nyak
and a state park that might be better named Swan Lake for the number of swans
occupying it.
I also finished several music videos – one which was so
difficult it took me a month to get down the basic track.
A close gay friend talked me into doing another musical
video in drag for our county’s version of Pride Month, but I look so awful as a
girl, I can’t show it to anybody but him.
It did a lot to cheer me up though after I found out my
daughter is showing symptoms of a disease my mother had. I won’t go into the details
here, but in my handwritten journal where I can be more open about what I
think.
The last two years posting journals have taken an emotional
toll on me, stirring up stuff I though I had long buried. I also never meant to
post most of it, especially the poetry journal stuff, but I got carried away. I
had planned to stop the whole thing after our poet fled the town of Virgin
Mayor, and I’ve already gone beyond that, another reason I had to stop posted
for a bit in order to figure out if I should continue or not. While my journal
goes on until late 2017, it is a very risky area – and I also started a separate
journal dealing with our office that has nothing to do with our poet (or if
mentioned, very sparsely). The poetry journal is a whole other kettle of fish
since it expresses feelings I never meant to expose and I haven’t even posted
all of those I wrote in 2012, let along the following years, and I’m not
certain I should.
I’m still deciding whether or not to cease the whole thing
since it has had an impact on me I never intended when I started.
Anyway, this is just an update.
No comments:
Post a Comment