her old world is coming to pieces, but she is in the midst
of her own struggle and so will likely not be there to get hit with the debris
I'm told that RR will be fired on Monday, proof of a purge
of corrupt people who clustered around the Virgin mayor
her plot from fall 2012 to destroy the congressman finally
coming to roost as one by one the old conspirators are unmasked and removed
it may be that our poet was one of the first and still is
naive of the criminal enterprises that went on around her
something similar is going on inside our office as lawsuit against
GA the blogger begins to uncover real dirt within our office, the owner, Tim
and others
it is difficult to know just how big a role our poet played
in all of that corruption but it is clear that she was shattered when she got
tossed out of her current position, enough for her to have a near complete
breakdown from which she is just recovering
how she avoids old pitfalls -- if she means to and I am
convinced that she really intends to try to reform -- will be the great
challenge of her life
some of what she wrote earlier I agree with, in that she is
only partly responsible for what she has become. some founding events sent her
into the cycle of behavior she could not later easily break Free of
This appears to be her best shot and perhaps her removal
from that group of thugs was a blessing in disguise
in an essay posted on the morning of March 27th she outlined
her plans for next few days
she will be leaving the nest, flying back North and with the
intent to sleep in her own bed that night for the first time in nearly a month
and a half
she described those things she would miss about the nest.
this corresponding to the posting of a group shot with many of the women she
criticized in an early essay
perhaps an odd sense of loneliness
she reflected on how odd it will be not hearing the
breathing in the bed next to hers or the rattle of breakfast bowls and plates
for non-self proportioners in the morning
it'll be odd not coming to the living room in the morning to
sit and write in the chair and drinking coffee and other references to the
other inmates in what is not a Murphy's world.
She said on Friday she would go gather her cats and eat
whatever her mother cooks and not be hungry or eat popcorn instead
she paints an interesting portrait of what life was like
prior to her trip to the clinic and the strange relationships she must have had
with family members
It is hard to tell just how much of a true believer she has
become (not just a madman's cancer curing
diet)but to all those careers she took up since her days in school believing at
least to some degree in the roles she played
and yet there's a sense that she also believes she's
undeserving
reading her essays derived out of the clinic experience you
can trust that on some level she actually believes in what she writes, though
the sad part is that she repeats in this what she has said and done in every
other career, becoming a true believer, a born again convert to a new religion
she will follow only t as so long as it keeps Faith with her need to save
herself and that she will set it aside when she grows strong enough for
ambitions to reemerge
yet I believe this is an honest attempt at redemption and a
completely new beginning more in line with some of those earlier attempts after
her teaching career and later when she abandoned upstate New York to make her
way to the big city
Saturday she said she'll clean her home do some yoga and
finally take a long walk along the edge of the Palisades with the view of the
city she loves finally not absconded by tears streaming down her face from the
bitter blowing cold then she'll probably see friends for yet another drama free
meal
she has set aside Sunday for phone calls, lounging, Gilmore
girls reruns, writing and take out food if her paperwork got in on time she
will start at the eating disorder treatment center in New York on Monday
she said she is nervous, noted that her last full day in the
South was extremely trying, which she needed to help to get through, yet
managed to also to stay through the closing circle when focused a lot of
tension on her
she said she was grateful for the gift of the journey
although she also said it was no spa but it picked her up and set her straight
and she is fully aware that not everyone is fortunate enough to have this rare
opportunity
the center in New York is a day treatment and intense
outpatient program on the upper side of Manhattan which serves as a transition
after inpatient treatment like the one she just went through and deals with
eating disorders and other obsessive behaviors
I do believe this may really be a new beginning for her and
maybe have saved her life
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