She posted a poem yesterday that seems to recount a conflict
she had with someone close on Friday. It might be a poem to an ex-lover or even
the virgin mayor. While it may be about a romantic breakup or her being fired from a
job, it appears to be more about some event that occurred on Friday that
inspired her write it.
There is a time reference that suggests a relationship that
goes back to her childhood.
In the poem she said she didn’t recognize this person when he
broke her heart again, coming at a time when she thought they had come to some
resolution.
It was as if this person no longer knew her, or worse, never
have.
He (I assume it is a man) spoke to her as if he was talking
to someone else entirely, to a meaner “narcistic girl” who would be too ignorant
to understand how to talk to each other.
He seemed to create a life and a life frame for her as if
she wasn’t even there, nor was this man.
She’s puzzled as to what occurred that caused him to see her
in this light, and while she knows each side has their own view of a situation,”
two sides to a coin,” he flipped her’s for her and called it out for himself.
And here, we get the time reference, “When I was young you
told me clearly where I stood’
When she asked, she already knew how things would pan out,
even though she prayed for a different outcome.
But somethings things simply don’t go as planned.
My first impression from the opening lines is that this was
a romantic breakup or that she had recently been betrayed.
But there are key phrases that suggest she feels betrayed by
someone with whom she has had a long term relationship. This may dispel any notion
of the “he” I assumed earlier, anc could very well be her mother or even her
grandmother, and may be resentment at their making decisions for her about her
life – such as forcing her to remain the clinic.
The poem appears to have evolved out a conversation on Friday
when she still had high hope for recovery or perhaps release. This came most likely
via a phone call in which the other party called her self-centered and selfish,
perhaps because she is seeking help the other party simply won’t give or gives
on their own terms.
This is a repeat of a conversation that apparently
transpired many years earlier, and may perhaps reflect on the boom or bust
cycle of her life.
But the talk on Friday surprised her because this person
seemed like a different person, and despite a long relationship, this person
really didn’t understand what our poet was about, inventing a life for her that
really isn’t accurate. And the poet doesn’t know what happened to make this
dramatic change. She is clearly telling the other person that the other person
is making it all up, based on some misconception, and does not want to hear the
poet’s side of the story, that person has already mad up his or her mind.
Some lines suggest that these two have had a long and
troubled relationship, and this other person has some power over the poet’s
life -- mother, father, grandmother and
such.
The poem suggest that the poet had reached out to this other
person for help “When I finally asked,” but she already knew what to expect.
Just who this other person is, I can’t precisely say, but it
is someone with the power and resources to help her, but someone who had
concluded our poet may not be worth helping.
Whomever it is, the rejection seems heartless and cold to
our poet, and clearly comes as possible last resort that leaves our poet with
fewer options –no job, no career, no prospects for the future.
Coming after her struggle on Thursday to keep from fleeing,
you can only imagine just how miserable she feels, alone, abandoned in clinic
full of needy people she imagines dislike her. Since she posted the poem and no
journal entry yesterday, it’s anybody’s guess what she intends to do next.
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