I hear the din of bed pans
From a place I’ve never seen
the stiff routine almost military regiment
required for her to
get a cure
not Angels as she described them
but an endless parade of drill sergeants
telling her “do this; do that” and she does it
because she's too scared not to
when she's already been beaten down
by the outside world
there is comfort in routine in regiment
the list rules
telling her how to live her life
so she doesn't have
to think too much
it's all these “do this do thats” day in and day out
telling her what to eat and when
and what she can't eat
when to shower
she needs not worry about
when to shave
( unless she means her legs and armpits)
when to wake
when to go to sleep
though I wonder
does she still wake
pre dawn
does she still deal
with the rattle of
the hamster wheel
or does she only hear
the den of bed pans
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