Had I've been wiser back then
I would have allowed
her to do
whatever she wanted
playful, meaningless meandering
neither of us should have taken too seriously
let her do it with me
as she wished
like in used tissue
disposed of when done
a wise man knows his
uses
and how to get his bit of pleasure
before the playing
ends
no regrets, no jealousy
just what is
giving her whatever she wishes for
in exchange for the tenderness, the intensity
the pain that is really pleasure
had I've been wiser man back then
I might have taken
joy
and gone on with it as a memory I could cherish
we never go back even when it was something good
and yet in my head I
relive it all
reshape reality into
a bunch of what ifs
and sometimes in the dark of night
when I feel the old urges growing
I imagine it was more than it was
and take joy from it
anyway
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