I suffer from one Tuesday to the next
like a roulette wheel that sometimes
lets the ball stop on
black
and another time at red
and on those unfortunate
Tuesdays
the 00 of green
today she is nice to
me
comes to ask me for a number
she likely already has
or about peninsula city Board of Education meeting
she has no business
asking me about
on another Tuesday she ignores me entirely
turns me into an Invisible Man for a day
not even looking at me during the meeting
when it is my time to
speak
last Tuesday she even smiled at me
maybe laughing
maybe defiant
maybe a look of victory that mocks me in my defeat
when I dare not smile
back
or let my stare linger on her
even as she struts up
the stairs
like a fashion model or
movie star
wearing sun dress and sunglasses
waiting for me to
request an autograph
I stay in my cupboard beneath the stair
an unwanted wizard
who lacks magic even to know
what next Tuesday might bring
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