Thursday, August 22, 2024

vampire of my own making June 7, 2012

 

June 7, 2012

 She doesn’t have to say it out loud 

for me to know it already. 

the old speech about what 

I could have had and blew it

and can never get it back.

I walk around with

 the empty feeling, 

like a zombie 

perpetually envying people 

who are either smarter than I am 

or too stupid do anything 

as stupid as I have done 

turning myself in the vampire

 I once accused her of being, 

without soul or conscience, 

just this never-ending hunger,

 a blood lust I can’t satisfy

 and must live with, 

knowing I might have been

 better off by letting her have

 what she wants, and need, 

my jealousy feeding this panic

 and sense of what I’ve missed 

and can never ever have again, 

while she gives herself 

to those who don’t

 ever question her motives, 

this ache, this stake in my heart,

 but it still beats – with pain.

 


email to Al Sullivan

 

No comments:

Post a Comment