Okay,
I admit it,
Early on When
This all started
I used to drive
North in the dark
With her photo
On my cell phone
(the photo with
Her hat on, not
The naked ones
She sent later),
Fists gripping
The gear shift,
Stroking at each
Traffic light,
Me, cringing
Each time an SVU
Pulled beside me
And the driver
Peered down into
My car,
This ritual lasting
From start to finish,
Getting my fingers
Sticky by the time
I arrived,
That photo,
That memory
Still stirring me
All this time later,
Even though
I no long need
To wipe the wet away
When I am done,
Too much water
Under that bridge,
No longer merely
An act of innocence,
Saddled instead
With the burden
Of guilt,
That long, lonely
Ride there and back
Always in the dark.
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