Saturday, October 19, 2024

Living in exile aug 18, 2012

  

I won't deny it

this great attraction

 that stirs me even now

 even when she has

 no more use of me

 could I be one of the flock

of sheep that clings to her heels

 who admire her from afar

and affection accepted for what it is

when it is clearly

 cannot be what I desire

 I would be happy

 cast off and yet not exiled

 as I am now

how do I find an equilibrium

a middle ground

 an affection that is not

seen in her eyes as an infliction

 to be weak enough to appreciate her

 without her fearing be overwhelmed

 in the quicksand in which I currently stand

such might never be possible

when what I must do

is keep from drowning

 but I won't deny it the affection

 I feel from afar

 the churning of my heart

at the mere glimpse of her Shadow

 I won't deny it and

yet I must keep it in check

 must live with exile


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