I won't deny it
this great attraction
that stirs me even
now
even when she has
no more use of me
could I be one of the
flock
of sheep that clings to her heels
who admire her from
afar
and affection accepted for what it is
when it is clearly
cannot be what I
desire
I would be happy
cast off and yet not
exiled
as I am now
how do I find an equilibrium
a middle ground
an affection that is
not
seen in her eyes as an infliction
to be weak enough to
appreciate her
without her fearing
be overwhelmed
in the quicksand in
which I currently stand
such might never be possible
when what I must do
is keep from drowning
but I won't deny it
the affection
I feel from afar
the churning of my
heart
at the mere glimpse of her Shadow
I won't deny it and
yet I must keep it in check
must live with exile
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