She comes back to me in the library
catches me speaking to an artist
and I think she is
mad.
I'm supposed to be here for her, not him
maybe she's just a wee bit jealous
when he says he makes his living doing his art
and she can't -- this show and tell
more horse show than it all seems on the surface,
who is more important than whom
she needs to be on the top of the heap
with me here to
document her fame, not his,
maybe I'm just a wee bit ashamed,
feeling as if I betrayed her when I really didn't,
feeling as I failed
to do what she needs me to do,
and I get humble again and sad,
thinking I might not
get what
I want most from her
if I betray her
again,
I follow behind her like a scolded dog.
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