I am of two minds about all this,
maybe more
multiplying my personalities
each time I think of her,
aching yet not over the usual suspects,
drawn and yet
repelled,
like that poem she
wrote
in which we/they all either cling or flee,
only there is no longer anything to cling to,
maybe smoke or to run away from,
since she has already
left,
all this bouncing around
inside my head like a rubber ball,
inciting me to
jealousy I have not right to feel,
she, free to be with
he or them or even me,
though she clearly no
longer wants me
and I feel lost,
like a kid in a supermarket unable
to find my way
through the long aisle
where I don't belong.
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