It is not supposed to feel like this the vacuum I can't fill
the emptiness beyond all proportion to her leaving and I look around at the
other faces surrounding this table for our Tuesday morning religious ritual
from which we are supposed to find absolution rarely do, won't again in the
absence and the table regardless of how many faces they install into take her
place the whole affair perplexes me feelings I am not supposed to feel a loss I
can't even properly mourn since nobody in fact has passed away
what is it that we do now, how do we all go on since an
important piece of this Rubik's Cube has vanished and we lack the last color
block to make the whole cube whole again how is it that I feel this way how
exactly am I supposed to feel when the silver bowl on the roulette wheel
spelling once too many times comes up on 0 or 00 more often than not with no
way to make up for the that that's this is not supposed to feel like this this
vacuum that sucks the life out of me here in her absence
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