Sunday, August 25, 2024

The guilt factor feb 18, 2014

 

in the midst of the crisis that grips our poet, there are a number of unresolved issues and unanswered questions --  the most pressing of which centers around the world “guilt”.

What exactly does she feel guilty about?

she is alluded a wanton lifestyle to several times yet fails to provide details

Early on, she shocked me a number of times while at the same time these shocking moments only made me lust after her all the more

Wanton, however, in our society is a very relative term.

Young people  -- and perhaps almost always in the past as well -- fuck so much that in this perspective it has become the norm

Even kinky behavior is rapidly becoming acceptable. So, it is hard to imagine what she could have done to make her feel shame

She once claimed on a dating site she was open to filming herself in the act of sex.

 I can't imagine her ever getting involved with pornographic things the way my ex-wife did

I don't mean the act of sex but the degrading acts such films require   blow jobs and cum on the face

She has a certain level of dignity that would not allow herself to be degraded in such a way

she might love sex -- maybe even variations of kinky sex--  but she is likely to be the one in control I could more imagine her as a dominatrix than a slut and even such a role would be beneath her

so what I am imagine she feels guilty about it's not so much involving any variations of the sex act but perhaps more the social aspect of it using people, through the act of sex and such to get ahead -- this coming with all the complications these affairs take on especially keeping secret what she does with one person from others

Yet even this doesn't warrant the self-judgment she seems to heap upon herself the casting of the first stone

nothing I can imagine her doing seems to merit the level of guilt she has hoisted on her shoulders though I know so little this is too easy an assessment to make,.

To Walk in her shoes might give me a whole different perspective whereas even her poems do not completely reflect it

if there is guilt to be borne then it ought to rest on the shoulders of those of us who have used and abused her, those who shared her bed for a pleasure at her expense, the cheats and the liars who lust after her, buying her affection while giving her almost nothing in return.

it is what we dump on her she feels the weight of not her own actions.


email to Al Sullivan

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