in the midst of the crisis that grips our poet, there are a
number of unresolved issues and unanswered questions -- the most pressing of which centers around the
world “guilt”.
What exactly does she feel guilty about?
she is alluded a wanton lifestyle to several times yet fails
to provide details
Early on, she shocked me a number of times while at the same
time these shocking moments only made me lust after her all the more
Wanton, however, in our society is a very relative term.
Young people -- and
perhaps almost always in the past as well -- fuck so much that in this
perspective it has become the norm
Even kinky behavior is rapidly becoming acceptable. So, it
is hard to imagine what she could have done to make her feel shame
She once claimed on a dating site she was open to filming
herself in the act of sex.
I can't imagine her
ever getting involved with pornographic things the way my ex-wife did
I don't mean the act of sex but the degrading acts such
films require blow jobs and cum on the
face
She has a certain level of dignity that would not allow
herself to be degraded in such a way
she might love sex -- maybe even variations of kinky sex-- but she is likely to be the one in control I
could more imagine her as a dominatrix than a slut and even such a role would
be beneath her
so what I am imagine she feels guilty about it's not so much
involving any variations of the sex act but perhaps more the social aspect of
it using people, through the act of sex and such to get ahead -- this coming
with all the complications these affairs take on especially keeping secret what
she does with one person from others
Yet even this doesn't warrant the self-judgment she seems to
heap upon herself the casting of the first stone
nothing I can imagine her doing seems to merit the level of
guilt she has hoisted on her shoulders though I know so little this is too easy
an assessment to make,.
To Walk in her shoes might give me a whole different
perspective whereas even her poems do not completely reflect it
if there is guilt to be borne then it ought to rest on the
shoulders of those of us who have used and abused her, those who shared her bed
for a pleasure at her expense, the cheats and the liars who lust after her,
buying her affection while giving her almost nothing in return.
it is what we dump on her she feels the weight of not her
own actions.
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