Friday, May 3, 2024

Forgiveness that is not forgiveness

 

Poetry Journal July 2012

 

She dismisses me

As if I am a child

Our roles reversed

From those days

When she was my cub,

No wound so deep as this,

Down into the roots of my soul,

I thought I am immune

But I’m not,

Having no shell like hers

In which to hide,

Waking with night sweats

The echo of “forgiven”

Rattling around in my head

Like a ricocheting bullet

I survive, but barely,

Telling me I have nothing left to offer

Except my bleeding heart,

Was there ever a point to all this,

Fate determining what would happen

Long before it happened,

I am a ship wreck stuck on rocks

I should have seen coming,

Now begging for a life preserver

She will never throw,

“forgiveness” that is not forgiven,

I have been dismissed,

So utterly unimportant

I might well

Cease to exist.


email to Al Sullivan

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