judged

Sept. 1, 2012 (first posted)

It gets confusing.
People always tell me how I ought to express myself, reveal my feelings, and then I get slammed when I do.
Maybe I don't it right, never having been schooled properly in social graces.
I'm out of touch with the social world, was even when I was young enough to be part of the up and coming. Now I'm hopelessly out classed by younger, smart, more street savvy people, for whom life is more complicated and yet at the same time, more free.
But then, being too open is dangerous, often used against you when you say too much or express some feeling or confusion other people find uncomfortable or threatening.
People say you're crazy when you express confusion, and so it's better just to clam up and express nothing, even when the feelings of love or affection well upside you.
Maybe there's a class at New School I can take on how to properly say things so that people don't feel like they are being judged.
Me, I'm always being judged -- I've come to accept it, even when I don't agree with the sentence handed down at cruel and unusual.

But then, this year I've done the same to her, and so I'm guilty in some ways.


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