I am lonely and scared, and should not be, all this time
later, still thinking the same things when I ought to be satisfied I survived, still
alive, after having tumbled out of that crazy house of love, where so many
others before me never did, losing it, I could have lost my soul. I came away
merely wounded, when it could have been much, much worse.
I am lonely and scared and wish I could go back and make up
for it all, redo things I did badly, not do things I did worse, and do what I
didn’t do and should have done.
And I wonder, is she also lonely and scared, and how does
she fill in the gaps of life she feels, another face hovering over her in the
depths of night, a midnight skinny dip in depths of her. A man could easily
drown in those dark eyes and not regret it, forgetting entirely how to swim,
and have no regrets about jumping into the deep end.
I am lonely and scared and wish I was a better swimmer, and
could bask it all her pools all the time, shaking it all out of me and into
her.
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