I dream rain even when there is none.
This is supposed to be the month of showers, and so I dream
of rain and more rain, and pecking in my head that turns out to be the cell
phone I clutch under my pillow.
It’s like falling asleep with a calculator and wondering why
things do not add up in the morning. Or believing in a tooth fairy. Or
wondering what it means to be so old and not feel it.
Bees buzz in my head that aren’t out yet.
I wake up not in a sweat by aching deep in the bones as I
look to the window and wish for dots of rain to appear there, and wonder what
will happen in the morning, and slowly, before I get my coffee, I check the
phone.
Then on the front picture window I see dots and feel relief,
the way I used to wake up relieved in Junior High School, checking the sheets
to see if it was real.
Then all day long I ache for more rain, and more, and
wonder, what it is that I am waiting for.
Dots of wet on my window, as I drift back later to sleep.
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