I look at the video of her with the band years out of date and I think I might have fallen for her even then, become a groupie, offering her anything for just one look or even a pat on the head
black top orange
skirt in one film, other outfits and others, she always the same, the center of
my attention, a fixation I might have had long before I fixated on her for real,
before I even knew who she was, not a rockstar yet a bright spot on the stage,
thick with old men playing old songs, none of which mean anything to me without
her on stage with them
maybe it's hindsight,
me thinking this and attraction that might not have been any attraction at all
I later felt
attracted to her and maybe in the depths of night listening to her other songs
I still imagine myself as her groupie and maybe I always will
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