She lowers her voice
When she mentions the rape
Even though others in the bar
Can still hear her
especially the women,
all of us with wrong
chromosomes,
mere cads and potential rapists, too,
I feel guilty, thinking what I'm thinking
when she speaks about
the most traumatic moment in her life,
being drugged and used,
a tissue disposed of by morning,
a man with whom she
had
already made love, who became entitled,
taking by mickey what she would not offer,
and I think, I am
that man because
of all the lurid thoughts running through my head
when in reality I
would settle for a kiss
(a foolish notion, I think, since
I want more and more
just as that rapist
did,
I'm just not crazy
enough to take it.)
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