What we want at night (2017)

  

She is who she is

Until she isn’t,

Torturing herself

For something

She doesn’t have,

Until she has it,

This mad confusion

Of whom we are

And what we need,

The inside and out,

Boys who wanna be girls,

Girls wanting to be boys,

Or girls and boys

Who just want,

Dealing with

Pleasure/pain,

Desperate for

Experience

To make it all real,

Experience

We never had

But always wanted,

Even when

We did not know

We wanted it

In the first place,

Now can’t live without,

The strange calls

And texts

In the middle of night

When we are most

Vulnerable

When we ache

For whatever we can get

Putting on

And taking off,

Playing

And yet, it is

Not play at all,

We paint our faces

And pretend,

When we long

For it all to be real,

The things we say

We want to do,

Picture ourselves doing,

Doing in the dark

All too real

Even when

Unreal.

email to Al Sullivan