I was never this giddy even at 16
when I fell in lust with my science teacher
who was dating the
head coach of the football team,
all I could do then
was stare,
,now I post silly things on her Facebook page
she tells me I should
take down
since her whole family
and her most trusted
friends
will see it and know what going on
(if anything really is).
What the hell am I thinking?
Why can't I stop?
This is not natural,
the way puberty was
back then,
the normal
progression of a boy
entering into his
teens rather
re-defining for me what people
mean when they say second childhood,
this need to feel out
my way in a fog
of my own creation,
to know if what I see
is real,
to touch it, to know
if it is soft or hard,
hot or cold,
there or not there,
like a blind man
gauging reality by touch.
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