I really did want to go to the publication party tonight.
But decided against it to avoid a scene. This is her turf as proven by that
last night we had together at the bar. She knows its ins and outs, and I would
make myself vulnerable if I went there knowing it is a lioness den.
If she wants to hurt me, she would have the means and
opportunity to do so, and the sense of hostility was evident yesterday from the
expression one of our receptionists had from talking with her. Since I am
reluctant to expose all this to the general office, there is no way to tell my
side (if indeed I have a side to tell). Anything I would say would only make things
worse and convince her that I am conspiring with other employees against her
when I’m not.
I have to accept all this as a lost cause. Whatever healing
I thought we wrought last week has evaporated if it ever really existed except
in my mind.
I think she just got uncomfortable with the whole thing, regardless
of how professional the relationship. She refused to send me information I
needed and suggested (via email) I collect it after she’s posted it on the web
as breaking news, a clear message that she has decided to sever even the professional
aspect.
How far this will go, and whether she will try to get me
fired is anybody’s guess.
The owner appears to be unaware of the situation, despite the
pained and angry looks she gave me during the routine meeting.
I think she’s still upset with some of the poetry I’ve
posted, even though I yanked it down.
As for the office antics, she will do what she will do, and
it’s up to be to be a big boy and not let it get to me.
But going to the launch party would be like rolling over and
exposing my belly and inviting an attack. I won’t do that. I’m not that stupid.
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