What she barely alluded to yesterday she apparently
broadcast today blatantly in an essay about The spoils of victory
Only in this essay she barely talks about Ed just in the
last few sentences
The essay may answer some longstanding questions about when
she was connected with the Virgin mayor and possibly her role in our office as
well as makes clear her bitterness over having been dumped from power
The confrontation on the weekend must have involved the
Virgin mayor or someone inside the power grid to cause her to let down the veil
so far and reveal so much about the real conflict that is only marginally
associated with her disorder
I learned yesterday that the Virgin Mayors closest and most
important Ally is Sylvio which lends credence to the rumors that she may have
confronted the Virgin Mary over a raise Sylvio received when she did not--
although other rumors claim it was some other woman in the office
she may have
permanently severed herself from power with no way to return
Again all this is speculation based on various disgruntled
people in the Virgin Mary's Town none of which may be true
Her essay about to the Victor go the spoils give definition
to some of this the implication that she had engaged in some conflict and had
lost
she does not say with whom
but suggest the other person is someone connected and that after being a
good soldier in the Virgin Mayors army, she has been cast out
All this suggests
another proverb sour grapes and goes on to suggest what was won wasn't worth it
in the first place
She said she's always questioned this proverb. the idea is
that he who wins is rewarded
She does not say what the conflict was about or to whom she
is speaking. She might even be reflecting on herself.
She does admit there is a
certain ambiguity when it comes to reward, perhaps built intentionally
into the phrase
Is he victorious because he has won the battle but what lies
around him are most certainly spoils as I would imagine them to be
Her research shows the offender first said this after an
election at 1832 the Victor has won the election the spoils are what have been
left behind
This may suggest she joined the Virgin Mayors team after his
successful upset over the previous mayor in May 2011 but she may have been
connected to someone such as RR prior to her coming to work for us, maybe as
early as her return from.
More than once I have pondered if her coming to work for us
was part of some scheme to control our publication (most likely by RR, but
maybe others). Most likely, she joined the group later, arriving too late to be
considered one of the inner core.
The essay suggests that she feels jipped somehow and she
creates distance with some of the phrases she uses.
She goes on to wonder why this sort of thing is something
anyone would be willing to fight and pay out the nose to win.
she suggests that the spoils aren't worth any having any way
even as is now on the outside looking in
It is difficult to say to whom she is addressing the essay RR
or the Virgin Mary or some other person I know that nothing about, or even
herself, but she is clearly trying to make lemonade out of these sour grapes
and comes up with something resembling spoiled mil.
Her loss in January of position still hovers over her like
the angel of death, something she can't quite dispel despite her months seeking
a cure because ultimately she is being cured for the wrong addiction
She referred to the victory as indeed messy
it's never like they
tell you in fairy tales unless they are grim. you either sacrifice the
integrity that made you fight in the first place or once you win you realize
that what you want is nothing like what you imagined it to be this is life, she
wrote.
No essay of course can be free of her revisionism of history
and so she continues on with a version of her past how she fought for education
and hasn't really gotten her very far; she fought for countless jobs and won
finding them hardest to sustain than the fight itself and then after fighting
in them she found the reward itself had spoiled her in a way
At this point she tries to tie in her disorder but it
doesn't really work but suggests that the struggle has also left her spoiled.
she knew this must sound terribly depressing it can feel
that way at times and if you let this truth define you and depress you it can
end up dragging you back, she says.
Everything is spoiled anyway, she says, and she might as
well take back control and do it herself
but no life springs from spoils she claims just as it had
from the chaos of the original biochemical ooze
she believes it is less the victory than the fight itself
doing with the spoils she's been dealt with her human nature with the nature of
the universe from spoils to splendor
if the right
collection of events coincide and there is infinite hope in that there is also
far less pressure if you realize that you're very nature is not perfect and so
in order to be get any sort of success you have to realize it will not be
perfect
it doesn't have to be;
it cannot be; victory is not perfect;
there is much sadness in all this, a suggestion that she has
or is on her way back to the place where she was and less a revision but her seeking some new path to power
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