Our poet’s recent writing returns to a theme that I had
found odd when she first raised it many poems ago, about her feelings regarding
love and marriage.
With the exception of her marriage (which lasted five years)
her life has largely been a series of brief romances, often putting her in the
role of side chick.
She might get any man she desires, they inevitably return
home to their wives, leaving her alone.
While she once bought the farm, as she referred to her
marriage, it was so heavy with jealousy (he used to excuse her cheating on her to justify his own infidelity)
Her affair last year with a married man she could not resist
seems to be the norm for her,
She even mocked (too strong a word) the life style he was
returning to, when oddly enough, it appears she wanted that life style, too,
just didn’t know how to get it.
Even with me, it was never going to be what she wanted, a
man to stay with her the whole night. Nor would be get it from others I
suspected she got involved with.
RR had potential, although when their affair started, he was
still married with kids.
It is difficult for me to distinguish between those she
really hoped to make a life with from those who simply used to trickle up.
In one recent essay, she wrote about being addicted to food
and sex, and so this complicated any evaluation of her lovers, between those
with whom she is only working something out with and those she might want as a
life partner.
Maybe even she can’t distinguish between the two.
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