Her most recent poem (which I still suspect is aimed at RR)
made me realize something important about our poet’s character.
She is not nearly as hard boiled as she would like people to
believe.
Even after she has moved on from someone, she still retains
some measure of tenderness towards that person.
I can’t say this is true of all her ex-lovers, but it is
clear from this poem that she still had tender feelings towards the person she
was writing it to.
In some measure, she showed similar feelings towards me even
in the aftermath of her forgiveness poem – as demonstrated in her poems about
compassion and quick sand.
Even some of her writing about her chef ere couched with
similar tones, even though he eventually became her primary stalker for a time.
I know almost nothing about those who preceded him, with the
possible exception of her ex-husband, who remained her friend despite his years
of jealousy while they were still married.
I suspect she would have even retained some tender feelings
towards the man who drugged and raped her, had he been satisfied with what she
had offered rather than seeking to take more than he deserved.
After all, he had hit on her so often (even though he was
her girlfriend’s boyfriend) she appeared to take pity on him and consented to
have sex originally with him. Had he been satisfied with that and refrained
from his horrible act later, she might have had some better feelings towards
him later.
How she felt about her female lover is a mystery, though the
woman eventually also became a stalker, and ruined whatever kind of peaceful
resolution they might have come to.
Our poet once told me that there were always stalkers in her
life, some worse than others.
Yet I suspect that she is far more vulnerable behind that
hard shell she retains, and seeks to be firm in order to keep from being hurt.
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