Her only companion July 27, 2013

 

  

Love hurts.

This is the theme continued in the poem she posted today, and once again suggests that she is in what the Marx Brothers made famous in the duck soup.

In the duck soup is jargon from the 1920s that suggests someone is overwhelmed with the side effects of a love relationship, often in a relatively negative way.

This poem seems to continue the painful circumstance, if not unrequited love, then love that has gone south for the winter and will not be returning in the spring.

Unlike some of her recent poems, this one takes a broader look at her life and her situation, and her need to retain the love she so much aches for.

She is alluding to a number of other ongoing issues, including I suspect her cancer, when she claims there are only so many things she can withdraw from, in particular, the love of this man that has helped her get through many of the other things.

She described him as a “beautiful miracle string” that held her life together, a perception he apparently shared about her as well.

And when life seemed to turn around for her, everything went gray again, and too bright, like a constant headache and a pain her stomach that shoots to her heart.

She doesn’t want to forget him; she doesn’t want to stop thinking about him with her eyes open or closed, or when she breathes in or out.

“I’m tired of going without,” she writes, suggesting that what they had together they really didn’t have in the first place – perhaps meaning the marriage he’s already involved in, and their stealth life together that kept his regular life from falling apart.

Again, I am assuming that the love poems that started with her contemplating her seducing him are all relating to the same man and how things failed to materialize in a way she had first hoped.

She seeing this as ironic, and that Irony was her only life companion, and wishes from this nagging ironic voice take a nap, so she can heal from healing from all thing things inside her that hurts.

The depth of pain in this poem is obvious. She has been saddled with a number of issues, anyone of which would have crippled another human being, but her one ally in this, the man she truly loves, is not beside her to help her cope as he had been in the past, and she is stuck living with the twists fate has given her, and needs time and space to resolve all those things, not least of all, her love of this man, who clearly is no longer in her life.

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