Not to be too jealous a whole year later, I’m intrigued by
our poet’s attachment to our former Temporary boss – raising the question as to
whether or not she is less manipulative than naïve.
This comes at a time when Elizabeth, the woman who had taken
reigns as boss at the alternative office, has fallen for him as well.
And they are not the only women taken with him.
I naturally assumed the worst last year that our poet friend
was grooving up to him only because he had come into a position of power.
Now, I’m wondering if she – like the other women – found him
attractive for other reasons, even though he is married and can’t possibly
serve her as anything more than a temporary jaunt.
I don’t always believe everything he says, since he tends to
exaggerate his legend – such as the reason behind the troubles he had when he originally
worked as a writer.
He claims he was removed because of his position on social
justice, and how he stood up for the blacks during the riots, when in fact it
seems management relocated him because he managed to offend local arts
leadership with some of the comments he put into print regarding their productions.
Still, he spins a good yarn, even in the book he published,
in which his main character did things he as writer never really did.
What makes him attractive isn’t what he tells people, but
some innate ability to handle some of the women in the office, a wannabe upper westside
liberal who somehow got stuck living on this side of the Hudson.
Like most people who end up at our office, he seems to have
come to a graveyard for aging talent, something our poet did not seem tor recognize
when she made her move, using him as a stepping stone to get someplace higher
up in the food chain – only to discover there is no place higher up.
But I suspect there is more to it than just her using him,
something that has other women in our office attracted to him as well.
Sometimes, he can be a brute – as he was with our poet early on – but for some
reason, this only makes him more attractive, a quality I’m envious over, since
I do not have the tenderness balances his brutality.
And no doubt, this allows him to remain our poet’s friend,
even when it appears they shared more than just a bed during their romance,
something both need to be treated for.
Yet behind all his bravado, our former temporary boss is
also needy, a weakness our poet seemed to have exploited. He needs to be
needed, and needs to feel important, something else he shares with our poet,
whose own ambition hangs heavy on her every time she makes a move.
She read his need and exploited it, but as one of her poems
points out, she is an accidental thief, something who steals small things
others may not be aware they are giving up.
And for all the ruthlessness, she tries live up to as a
street savvy soul, she seems to have a tender heart, even for those who had
hurt her deeply – such as myself, and her former chef, who stalks her, and yet
she still seems sentimental over.
Our owners don’t like our former Temporary boss, perhaps
because they are aware of his relationship to her, even though he does most of
the real boss’ work.
He is rather weak, while pretending to be strong. While he’s
scared about losing his marriage, he still retains contact with the poet, who
he clearly loves as well.
Our poet once wrote – in a poem she has since removed from
her blog – that men tend to run away from her or cling to her.
Our temporary boss appears to be one of a stable of characters
who cling to her, but wise enough not to make it so obvious as to have her
severe connection with them.
Her twitter following reads like an appointment book of
former clients, people who keep their fingers in the pie, perhaps hoping she
will turn her attention back to them and rekindle the warmth they shared with
her when she first encountered them.
She being kind in this regard never shoos them away, but
lets them believe they might still get her attention someday, when as she
pointed out more than once, once she’s moved on, she never looks back.
I suppose this is the same for our former temporary boss,
who must have incredibly mixed feelings when it comes to her, knowing he likely
contracted his cancer by making love to her, itself a mixed blessing since if
he had to do it again knowing what he knows now, he would likely do it again.
Early on, during those few days when things went well between
the poet and myself, I said I knew the whole thing would end up in pain, but
the highs more than justified the lows, and if I had it to do over, I would,
although I would not make many of the mistakes I made, and learn from our
former Temporary boss about accepting the inevitable gracefully.
Yet even he is not immune and I recall the pain I heard in
his voice over the telephone last October when he informed me she had resigned.
He was losing more than just someone he had mentored, but unlike me, managed to
somehow pull himself together and to embrace the more distant friendship his
association with him offered, something I will never attain, something I regret
deeply now that I know a little more about how she ticks.
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