Thursday, June 26, 2025

To do it over? Feb. 13, 2015

  

If I had it all to do over again, I would have done exactly what she told me to do, whatever she wanted, not let questions fill my head with doubt, to use and be used, but not abuse, my heard, hers, regardless of the consequence, given freely, better than card or candy, I should shut down my devious mind, flow with the flow, take what she offers and in this, find some measure of joy, doing it over now if only in my dreams, waking up when the dark still embraces me, to the illusive ping on a phone I wish would have her on the far side of the line, and never is, to do what I’m told to do, even if it means doing nothing, if that is what she wishes, to come and go, to laugh or cry, to be her cuckhold if that is what she desires most, but alas, none of that is possible, impossible to retract, go back, only dream on, night after painful night


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