What if I had not brought candy and a card to that bar that
night, so long, long ago. Would it all have turned out differently?
What if I had been brave enough to bear the slings and arrows
of my own self-deceived misfortune, not let the green-eyed monster get the best
of me, stir up the beast. Maybe if I had gripped the arms of the bar stool more
tightly, I could have held on, held out, come to another outcome, through now,
looking back, I still cringe, especially in the dark later, hearing her voice
on the cell phone asking: “Why did you abandon me?” a question still echoing
again and again in my head with no real way to answer a regret I still regret
and always will.
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