I still feel the heat of it
and it has nothing to do with summer
 or even the turmoil that filled
 these over warm summer days
 it stays with you
 building up like an unwatched pot
getting ready to boil over
I struggle to keep it contained
 to let the chill of the approaching season
 lower the temperature
I cannot otherwise control myself
 I ache for it all to go back
to what it was before before the turmoil
before the summer heat
 before I knew who she was
or how she felt then stopped feeling
 before I needed to turn down
 the flame under the pot
 I ache for fall to come
the change of leaves
that change dying leaves
 each season bringing its own relief
 and still I feel the heat
that moment when the pot
 just started to boil
 when I still had the sense to
turn it off and didn't
 forced into summer
 later a blessing in disguise
 even if it felt compromised
summer ends and I crave fall
 it is all I can do
 
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