If there was a positive note in her last poem about surrendering, her latest poem appears to dismiss that notion, taking a longer look at the plight humans like herself face.
The more I reread her poetry, the more I am convinced her literary efforts are a kind of self-therapy, allowing her to reflect on her current situation, while at the same time, providing some kind channel for others to glimpse some of what goes on inside her head.
Unlike the previous poem where she saw hope in surrender, here she talks about how the conflict inside her should have calmed with the coming of “cooling of the night” only there is darkness “we” have not reckoned with, things that drag out of the closet that bring back the knowledge that she (or we) are mere mortals, and remind her of the “plight” (again she uses the word “we” must contend with,
“We soon forget allegiance when the huge face of fear, it rears itself.”
But if she stays quiet, this fear flees.
There are several hints contained in this poem as to the concept of betrayal.
There is a threat she did not expect that had brought back all the terror she previously felt. Who or what this is, she does not say, and could relate to me or some other aspects of her life I am not aware of, but just as terrifying to her.
She clearly can rely on those she saw as allies when it comes to this darkness and fear, and the best option she has is to lay quiet and hope it passes over her.
The use of the plural “we” is unusual for her poems, and suggests she may not be alone in this.
In her previous poem, she reflected on just how desperate her situation it, something different from what she has faced in the past, and how if she willingly accepts her fate, she might find hope and forgiveness.
The situation seems not as bad as other times when life has forced her onto her knees, and somehow, she finds beauty and relief from the burdens of will and want.
But this poem suggests another powerful negative force she had not expected to emerge, something she can’t rely on her friends to help her fend off.
What new or resurrected threat is she implying?
Just when she believed she had hope and could somehow surrender to life and find peace, this new threat reminds her of how terrible things are, and raising questions about who she really is – “We are”.
This fear or threat makes her want to break bonds she has established.
Ultimately, her defense against this fear is to remain silent and hope that – like the Angel of Death – it passes over her.
This poem suggests she is again confronted by non-identity she routinely suffers when a career crashes.
She may well be reminded of how trapped she has become in her current situation, and hints at possibly leaping away from those she works with or whom she considers allies – this group to whom she has been nothing but loyal.
This brings us to the use of “We” in the poem to identify herself.
“Who are we?” Where does she fit in? To whom should she now become loyal?
She suggests a common threat, something perhaps that she fears to expose her allies to, or at least, cannot count on her current allies to help her fend off.
Who or what are these “darknesses that we have not reckoned with?
Some of her recent poems seem to refer to me, and yet I have done nothing to qualify as a reborn darkness in her life.
So there must be some other threat that is bringing her down.
What this is, the poem does not allude to it.
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