Saturday, June 2, 2012

Natural law





There’s a natural law that seems to go
That every thing we think we know
The cards will turn and the seed will sew
And the day will end and the rain will snow

The corn that we had thought would grow
Withers into feed for crows
And the land we’d plowed into long neat rows
Turns to dust for the wind to blow

I wish that I was a day in spring
With new green fingers mixed in everything
And a heart that beats out with its merry strings
Or ripples water or flaps on wings

I wish that I could say to you
All the things I thought I knew

Storm




The wind blasts against the shuttering glass
The clouds move quickly across the moon
The storm gathers around the house’s every room
And pushing back hearth’s smoke, it may not pass

We sit on nights like these and laugh
At ghosts we thought we’d left behind
As clothing forgotten whips on abandon lines
And like harsh touch speaks with vulgar lash

We tremble, too, look at the squalid boards
Of house and tremble we thought thoroughly knew
That creaks and glands and hollows at the spew
Of pounding beasts and Satan’s angry hoards.

We clamp our hands and sweaty palms to heat
The cold dank dampness growing in the soul
We thought we grew over this terror too old
For horrors of night and storms too complete

Inside us, old trembles shakes of other serious crimes
That we have confessed by not rightly lamented
Or sorrowed over, confession enough for fences mended
The guilt rises with the dark and noise into our minds

Maybe we should return and answer all this with pray
Like children do under the cover in dark wait for the morn
Or soldiers in trenches deep in the midst of battle for horn
Maybe we need dig deeper still to sings to which we’re heir

Then when worse winds wind us house, home and all
Around these thought so storm seas sullen rage
Dawn rises like a chapter’s end, a fresh new page
Where confessions forgotten are shoved back for yet another call.


Beware the poet




I hide here
Behind this line
This period
This exclamation point
A scared child
Exerting imagination
Painting pictures
With bruised fingers
Smudges telling the world
I am here,
The child whose heart bled
For five and half decades
Over some silly incident at five
A snatched peach
A tumble from a stair
A mother’s refusal to reach
Beyond the bars of her
Hospital room,
She still sounded from a father
Brother, husband, me
Whispers of unutterable things
She can’t even reveal in rime
And I give away in snatches
Between each couplet or verse
Not meaning to hurt
But always managing it
Between the poet bearing
Sweet poems
Beware his charms.

This or that?




We will always wonder what is there
Behind this tree or question where
Light goes when we’re not looking
Or smoke goes when we are cooking
Shadows always fill our lives
Leaving us to question why
Water trickles off a cliff
Or what side a coin show when we flip
Is this the cave we evolved from
What is the next thing we need done
What will we learn if we dig this tone up
Or will we spent our lives in doubt
Poets talk about paths they tread
And look to others with sad regrets
I wonder just how far I can go
Before someone stops me and tells me no
I walk through woods and look for bears
And realize most people don’t want them there
I walk at night through pools of light
Seeking answer to what it right
I see the moss that grows on trees
And know that none will grow on me
I delve into caves from which I cam
Knowing that here I someday remain
Daring darkness to extinguish me
And make it so I can no longer see.

To come or go?




Me?
I don’t know what to do,
To move or sit or stare
Like a transfixed idiot
With no message
Except flower
Am I to visit
Or stay put
Is there love still
Or am I but
A peeping tom’s
Turn on?

Channel surfing




“There ain’t no such thing,”
I heard someone say once
When broaching the matter
Of heart ache
Only to realize
That it was myself speaking
And the years – cruel years
Hard but noble teachers
Showing me the error of my ways,
Handing me the means
By which to discover
A change of mind.

Click!

An idea
Which was once alien to me

Click!

Strangely
I feel no difference

Click!

Weary fingers clutch
My heart
Strangling it
From the inside out,
Without mercy

Click!

The tragic murder
Of a soul
Was reported today
The ideological innocence
Of youth
Demanding now
A real and physical death
Inspired suicide
Depressive social stains

Click!

The wind blows
The sky aches blue
And the horizon
Bleeds sunlight
This is a cowardly dawn
A fictitious planet
Of too serious people
Afraid to be omnipotent
Afraid to be real

Click!

The bars are permanent
Cemented into place
By the years
By bad habit
By fear

Click!

My module
Affords only me
And my pretense
At laughter

Click!

Know you lines
The words will flow

Click!

What are you saying?

Click!

Are you there?”

Click!

She looks over
Up and down
Smiles
Her eyes reflect interest
Her eyes reflect you

Click!

You smile
But a fear-filled smile
One that chases
Rather than appeals
A smile and look
That speak of redemption
Instead of attraction

Click!

She runs

Click!

You run

Click!

You’re alone

Click!
Click!
Click!




email to Al Sullivan

Friday, June 1, 2012

Daisies




I’ve always hated
the idea of waiting
An autistic child
dreaming of someone
Wearing the illusion
of a voice on the phone
Or a text message
buzzing in the late night
The music of a wish I know
Can never be real
Isolated from reality,
Day after day
Taunting
Distracted my mind
Like a melody
From the radio
Stuck inside of me
Waiting,
The daisies of love
Dangling over me
Like a guillotine
Pedals falling
One by one
Like other lovers’ heads
With “loves me”
“Loves me nots”
Counting down
A rain of soft uncertainty
Drenching me
And draining me,
Me knowing to what end
The pedals will fall
Waiting for an answer
I already know
And never wish to hear