I ought to stop
each post from the past
digs it all up again in me
so I begin to feel now as I did then
when I thought it was all behind me
when in truth it
never is
when feelings as go as deep as these
they cannot be
exhumed only buried
and perpetually they try to rise up again
so each breath I breathe today
is filled with what came then
and recalling those days
digging them up even faster
bringing them to the
surface
makes it impossible to bury them again
I feel as I always felt regardless
of time or distance or all the other stuff
that clutters the in between
I ought to stop
but each time I try
I feel the impact of
endings and loss
and so I must keep on digging up
re-examining feelings
that I always secretly felt
even when I pretended I didn't
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