I deliberately sent the email to her,
thinking she would not see it
until she got back,
a release about an event
I knew she could not
cover
while on vacation,
I asked her permission if I could,
a shitty bit of slight of hand,
despite to keep open
the door of communication
to inform her I was still alive
if not thriving, and maybe
my mean streak showing
to stick a barb in the pleasing
memories she would later
carry away from her
time
with someone else.
So much more was the shock
when she responded,
since she was not
supposed
to have access
remotely
from the account I sent
the email to,
more shocking,
her off the cuff
answer
telling me to do what I wished,
a can of worms
I refused to open
when what I wished for
she would never give,
my little game back firing in my face.
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