I am utterly conflicted, feeling sorry for a woman who essentially says everything I believe in the moral foundation of my life is meaningless.
I could say that she has no remorse, yet this isn’t quite true as she struggles with self-punishment, and is trying somehow to find a way to resolve that so that she can get on with living her life.
I most struck by the last series of poems, so blatantly upfront, I might suspect she would like me to openly react – a trap perhaps? Or maybe she feels so confident in her current environment, she feels less need for caution.
From time to time, her controlled rage seems to get the better of her, although it is unclear who the rage is aimed at, only that somehow someone or something constantly gets in the way of what she wants or thinks she deserves.
I keep coming to the essential question as to whether or not her actions in our office (and now apparently in the Hometown election) were just her usual trickling up or part of an organized political power play to use media for a certain group’s ends?
Whose plot is it, if it is a plot at all?
Could this be something hatched in the brain trust of the Senator (arch enemy of the Neighboring mayor) or merely another petty attempt by RR?
Are we watching this same routine being brought to fruition in Hometown as she hooks up with “A” and possibly uses her influence on “D” on behalf of one slate or another.
“A’s” approaching me and her sales pitch on behalf of candidate “R” along with the fact that my poet friend’s boss is working on R’s campaign suggest there is an organized effort to influence what we report, using people intimately connected with the poet or A.
A’s break up with her fiancé leaves some serious questions as well. Did it have anything to do with her barhopping with the poet – as GA (the always good for dirt Hometown blogger), A’s pregnancy, and then abortion adding to the whole nasty mess.
A’s sudden friendliness towards me feels a lot like a repeat of what my poet friend did last year.
But if A is connected to the R campaign, she appears to want to keep that fact secret and got a bit upset with me when I suggested she was working on R’s behalf – something GA reported in her blog independently using her own sources (perhaps our boss who has fed GA other inside scoops in the past.)
Why A left our office remains a mystery – as is her connection to our poet. If A is working for R’s campaign, as is our poet’s boss, then GA may be right about the two of them.
But why should A want to keep that fact a secret? I suspect there is more to come out about all this.
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