Over the last year, I have viewed her poetry in a number of ways: as an honest rendition of her inner being, as an elaborate web designed to trap me into reacting foolishly, as a conversation between us on the most minimal level, or – most of the time – as a kind of progress report of how her life is going at that moment, put out into the void like a message in a bottle for anybody to pick up (the last is most likely.)
I’ve come to believe that some of her poems are deliberately aimed at me – inspired perhaps by something I’ve posted or something she imagined my doing.
Some of her poems are so shocking they stun me to read, and yet I read them over and over, shocked at how she could reveal herself – and yet knowing that for the most part most people won’t interpret these the way I have, and perhaps even, I have interpreted them wrongly.
The tone of her poems varies greatly, although she tends to fall into ruts where when she gets bitter or depressed, this theme sticks with her posts for a while before something shakes her out of the rut again.
The one conclusion I get from her poetry is that it suggests that her actions are rarely unconscious, and most of what she does – trickle up or change of priorities – are deliberate, except at those points where I have enraged her – such as those poems last summer when she has me jabbing a fork in the back of my own hand, or where I have overstepped certain boundaries.
There are poems over the last year that seemed even kind or forgiving (not that forgiveness poem), but poems about compassion or quick sand where she appears to take pity on me.
In all this, there has been conflict, mostly unintended, although not completely, which seems to have forced her to take detours in her original plans – and for which she still likely blames me – especially in regard to her trickling up in our office which got sidetracked not by me, but by the Small Man who caught onto her maneuvering and forced her to resign.
Her position with the Virgin Mayor appears to be as a kind of political operative, first to seek dirt on the mayor’s political enemies, but also as someone the inner circle can rely on – perhaps to continue influencing our coverage.
This group – at least, her boss – appears to be tapping her for political duties in Hometown -- where “D” now covers, and may include bringing “A,” – who formerly covered Hometown – into her entourage.
A’s reaching out to be last week was more than a little suspicious, and so similar to the way my poet friend did a year ago, that I’m very concerned about how our office might be manipulated once more into doing the bidding of that infamous inner circle now operating on candidate R’s behalf.
GA, the Hometown blogger, doesn’t help matters, posting details of things going on in our office nobody outside our office should know about – leading me once more to suspect that our boss is supplying GA with dirt, while making it look as if I am the source. I more than half expected the owner to come after me today after what GA posted yesterday. I’m only partly relieved that he did not but expect the second shoe to drop at any moment.
As for the poet, her last two posts were so blatant, I suspect she has thrown caution to the wind and intends to continue to trickle her way to the top, regardless of what else happens, or whether or not she will have to find a way to abandon ship later. The question is: does she still see me as a threat?
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