Craig

 

  

When Craig told me he was going to get married, I spat out my coffee, the stared across the packing table at him.

This giant of a man has spent as much time in college up girls’ skirts as he did on the grid iron, and I couldn’t see him settling down with any one girl, at least, not until he got into his mid-30s.

But at 23, he said it was time to settle down.

“With who?” I asked.

“A girl I’ve been dating,” he said, refusing to look directly at me.

“Where did you meet her?” I asked, envisioning all those club encounters from which he got his usual assortment of women.

“My mother introduced us,” Craid said. “She’s the daughter of my mother’s best friend.

All of this came out of the blue, marriage and settling down. Until a few months ago, he had still be talking about how to get pussy.

The proposed marriage, I soon learned, had almost nothing to do with his future wife, but his mother and his future mother in law, who felt it was time for Craig to settle down, no more nights out with the boys, but more importantly, his future mother in law felt that the two mothers and daughter should find a way to tame Craig wild streak before they took the long walk down the aisle.

“What the fuck does that mean?” I asked him.

“They want me to prove I’m worthy of her,” Craig said.

“How?”

“They want me to show how responsible I can be,” he said.

This meant, I soon learned, that Craig had to demonstrate how well he could perform as a house husband.

“Why the fuck would they want that?” I asked.

“My future wife is a Wall Street executive,” Craig said. “She earns four or time times when I might make here or in my father’s insurance firm.”

“So, they expect you to stay home and do laundry?”

“Among other things,” Craig said.

“That’s nuts!” I said. “I would suggest you get another girlfriend.”

“I would, but I actually love her.”

“Love her enough to give up your manhood?”

Craig blushed so deeply, I realized there was something else he was not telling me.

“What else?” I asked.

“Her mother heard about all the things I did with girls at college, and wanted to take an extra precaution that I don’t repeat it now that I’m engaged to her daughter.”

“What kind of precaution?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“Craig. You and I are friends, work mates and if you can’t trust me, who can you trust.”

“They put my cock in a cage,” he mumbled. “They put something up my butt, too, some kind of remote control vibrator. If I do something or say something wrong, the mother in law pushes a button. It gets me excited. My cock tries to grow, and can’t, and that causes pain.”

“And you put up with this? What does you mother say? Or your future bride.”

“They all think it’s a good idea.”

“You mean having your cock locked up so you can’t have sex is something your future wife likes?”

“Her mother and my mother said it’s make me want my bride all the more, and they’ve promised to give her the keys once we take the vows.”

It was impossible for me to get my head around all this.

“So, you’re going to be a full time maid?”

“Yes, at both my mother’s house and my mother in laws.”

“Do they pay you?”

“Not in a way you think,” Craig said. “I get room and board, and don’t have to pay for my uniforms”

“What kind of uniform?” I asked. Picturing him with the typical blue shirt and pants of a maintenance worker.

“French maid,” Cliff said.

“What?” I said, trying to picture all six foot six of him in a French maid outfit. “How they hell did they find anything big enough to fit you.”

“We went to tailor,” Cliff said.

“In public? Wasn’t thank humiliating?”

“Not as bad as I thought, except the part about the makeup.”

“Makeup?”

“They said I wouldn’t look right in the maid’s office without makeup, lipstick and all that.”

I was sick to my stomach.

“You really, really got to get out of this,” I said.

“It’ll be fine,” he said. “It’ll all change once we’re married and have a place of our own.”

“That could be more than a year from now,” I said. “God knows what other things they can do to you in that time.”

“I try not to think about it,” Craig admitted. “The hormone treatments scare me – not just the morning shakes, but the shots the doctors give me.”

“Hormones? It sounds like they’re trying to turn you into a girl.”

“Funny, you should mention that. My mother in law always says she wishes my wife had a sister.”

Craig left the job two weeks later. I never saw him in person again, although he did send me a Christmas card sometime after his marriage. His mother, his mother in law, his bride and him, and he did look a lot like his bride’s sister.

 

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