I always confused the two each time, when I know they are
not the same, the act as opposed to the emotion, always a train wreck waiting
to happen when both run towards each other on the same track, this need for me for
this to be that, the act that inspires me when in fact it is not the thing you
think it is, something else as significant, perhaps, not significant at all, as
with the man (men) you bring home, not at all on the same track, just an act,
to feel good, for a moment when it all fades awa, when the train moves on,
while I need for it to be something more, to have it mean more than just an act
that we forget about once the door closes and I stumble down all those flights
of stairs to the street, my train rushing on tracks in a dark and empty tunnel,
from which I later emerge, thinking it was something that it was not
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