Monday, August 4, 2025

Night sweats Jan. 24, 2015


The night stirs as I stir, a restlessness, wrestling with pillow and blanket I imagine as her, tangled up in body and mind, the soul of it lost in the darkness as I feel my way across a landscape I remember barely, where things were which brought me pleasure along with these night sweats, nowhere near the joy full sweating I recall from back then, silk sheets not nearly as tender as the flesh I touched, this wrestling with memory, this desperate need, this unholy dream I dream, night after night, hearing her heavy sigh which is my sigh not hers, this stirring I cannot wake up from, perhaps do not want to wake from, wrestling with a memory of what once was and can never be again.


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