I won't deny it
this great attraction
that Living in exile
stirs me even now
even when she has
no more use of me
could I be one of the flock
of sheep that clings to her heels
who admire her from afar
and affection accepted for what it is
when it is clearly
cannot be what I desire
I would be happy
cast off and yet not exiled
as I am now
how do I find an equilibrium
a middle ground
an affection that is not
seen in her eyes as an infliction
to be weak enough to appreciate her
without her fearing be overwhelmed
in the quicksand in which I currently stand
such might never be possible
when what I must do
is keep from drowning
but I won't deny it the affection
I feel from afar
the churning of my heart
at the mere glimpse of her Shadow
I won't deny it and
yet I must keep it in check
must live with exile
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