anniversary feb 25, 2014

 

it has been almost a year

 since she fell in love with a married man

, that moment in the Sun

light pouring in her bank of Windows

 onto a bed where two sweaty bodies

 engaged in making love

 not love not yet

 just lust she could not resist or contain

she had to know the universe might implode

and did not, not yet

having learned the fundamental lesson

 about married men

 they always go home to their wives

rarely even spending the night

 so that the sheets drenched

in semen and sweat

 grow cold and lonely

 a sad lesson she's likely

 learned the hard way

still lusting after him

 though for more than

just a chance to make love

 all of it going south within months

when she realized side chicks

 never win a man's heart

and always end up alone

the warm bed gone cold

before midnight

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I don’t regret it 2015

 

I don't regret thinking

what I thought back then

even before there was a reason

 to Hope what I thought

 might come true

my mind churning up what

I would do if I could if you would let me

I don't regret that moment

 when I stole that first kiss

not the peck outside the diner

but the one outside the bar

and later in the car

feeling you shudder

when my fingers not so accidentally

 touched what nuns told us was forbidden

I don't regret doing it deliberately even later

cupping you up in the palms of my hands

like I would two bowls of Jello my mouth

aching  to taste

I regret letting all that slip away

even though I still dream

 and still do it in my head

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toll. 2014

  

I come not for those ladies

who charge a toll for me to woo

those wanton ladies who act so chaste

yet will trade for gold to get below their waist

I do not deny their right for fair

 I would give my all to touch their hair

 that tender woman who would have me near

 who would tell me no until we make it clear

this for that is where it's at

while I leap ahead blind as a bat

 you make no bones about that

what we do make no pretense

when it comes to woo

 she who I dream of at night

 even though I have no right

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touch it 2014

 

if you touch it too hard it goes away

 this is the nature of it

 how to handle it carefully

like nitro

gentle yet rough enough

how to hold it in your hands

and shape it into what you need it to be

 a risky combination

we dare to address

to take it inside to roll it over

 and touch it

 all to consume it

 taste it swallow it whole

 yet not set it off

 to possess it without destroying it

 what is or what it means

 tender enough to feel its love

yet love enough to make it respond

 I had it and embrace it

even if pursuing it

I am terrified I might lose it

after all

 

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Anticipation (2015)

 

I always dream of holding you

Pressing our body against mine

Feeling your warmth

Your softness,

Tasting your taste

When we kiss,

Always on the brink

Of a plunge I am

Reluctant to take

The build up to that

Moment as good

As the climaz,

Like an old movie

Where the hero

Wins the girl

Yet before he has

His way with her,

The holding, the touching

The tasting, tender

Mercies we feel

When we ache yet

Have not engaged,

Fingers feeling the

Soft places,

The rest of me aches

To reach,

Finding intense

Satisfaction in being

So close, yet

Not fully emersed,

The thrill of the dive

Before hitting

The water.

 

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Hot wax on my fingers (2015)

  

I light candles

On my dinner table

And watch the wax

Drip down its

Long tapered sides

And I think of you,

What if these were

Your fingers

Instead of mind,

Feeling the sting

Of the hot wax

Where I hold too long

Or stroke too hard,

As if what I do

Causes the candles

To burn and melt,

Each stroke

Drawing out of it

This precious fluid

The sting of which

On my fingers

Also brings me

Pleasure,

Thinking it is you,

Who causes it

When if is my thinking

Of you that does,

Imagining again

The touch of you

On me that stirs up

This hot wax scalding

As it always has

And always will.

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Black Supremacists

 

 

If you stay quiet, they might ignore you,

Even if you’re white; this new holy order

Parading flawed martyrs like Floyd

Yet condemn you if you fly the American flag

Madness filling the streets of Portland

Or Seattle or St. Louis

With smoke and curses

In the pretense of social justice

They really mean as revenge

Crushing us in their greedy fingers

As they pound the walls of law

They intend to topple

As we stare down at the terror

 from the windows of the upper floors

stunned by the horror of humankind,

black faces and white faces

smothered in black masks

a new kind of KKK looking for

white people they can lynch,

caught in the frenzy

of their own misguided philosophies

as racist as the racists they hunt

black supremacists rather than white

looking for answers nobody can give

 

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