What’s it all about, Alfie? (with video)

What’s it all about, Alfie?

With a name like “Alfred,”

I struggled a lot growing up,

Especially after that stupid

Song came out:

What’s it all about, Alfie?

People never stopped asking me that

What’s it all about?

As if I was some kind of wise man

Instead of the class clown

As if not getting a date

With the most popular girl

In high school

Didn’t hurt

What’s it all about, Alfie?

Some names just make you

Work harder

To get over or around them

And when you’re like me

And didn’t show a lot of talent

For much of anything

Trying was never enough

What’s it all about, Alfie?

And maybe I am still a little jealous

Of people who get where they got

Without a bad name

Like the girl from college I did date

Whose long legs I last saw

Climbing into a stretch limo

In front of Trump on Central Park west,

Or the bully I had to beat up

When he wouldn’t stop trying to beat me up

Who got honored as a hero cop,

Or my best friend who stepped in shit

So often he never worked a day in his life

What’s it all about, Alfie?

I keep trying to find something

I thought I’d lost

But maybe never had,

Something that always slips out

From between my fingers

Each time I think I’ve got

A handle on it,

Something I can’t get

Good name or bad,

Something I want more

Than life itself

Always I’d be hard pressed

To put a name on it

What’s it all about, Alfie?

Beats me.