Two tickets April. 1, 2014

  

How does she get back

to the life she left

does she want to

 dragged back to the train station

 holding tickets for several destinations

 the place she came from

 the place she might go

 only not yet knowing what is the best choice

 having known one which still speaks of decay

she  fears the one she doesn't know

there is comfort in what once was

 even painful

and yet fears taking the ride

to a place she never been

one ticket in one hand

in the other the scary ride

she needs to take yet

reluctantly clutches the former

 does she go back to what she knows

 or to what she knows could go nowhere

 is she better off going back

 to where the train derailed

or to keep on the train

whose wheels stay on the track

 to god knows where.

 

email to Al Sullivan

Days of heat aug 8,2012

 

the boss is away but the mice

won't play without him

 he is stretched out in the midwest sun

 while we bake here in the city heat

 I wonder does he still check

 his text messages as often there

 as he did here

when the two were apart if not quite so far

 and I wonder if he thinks as much

about her there as he did

when she was underfoot

 does he miss making love to her

 or even remember how good it feels

to have her pressed up against him

and I wonder if he is as good

 a lover as she needs

or just one more in a string

 of trickling up or working things out

and just who fills his shoes

when she needs to be with someone

and he's so remote

 is the next guy adequate

does she even care

just needs someone

anyone will do

 anyone of course accept

one person

 I need no imagination to figure out

in these dog Days with all of us

 in days of heat

 

email to Al Sullivan

anniversary feb 25, 2014

 

it has been almost a year

 since she fell in love with a married man

, that moment in the Sun

light pouring in her bank of Windows

 onto a bed where two sweaty bodies

 engaged in making love

 not love not yet

 just lust she could not resist or contain

she had to know the universe might implode

and did not, not yet

having learned the fundamental lesson

 about married men

 they always go home to their wives

rarely even spending the night

 so that the sheets drenched

in semen and sweat

 grow cold and lonely

 a sad lesson she's likely

 learned the hard way

still lusting after him

 though for more than

just a chance to make love

 all of it going south within months

when she realized side chicks

 never win a man's heart

and always end up alone

the warm bed gone cold

before midnight

email to Al Sullivan

I don’t regret it 2015

 

I don't regret thinking

what I thought back then

even before there was a reason

 to Hope what I thought

 might come true

my mind churning up what

I would do if I could if you would let me

I don't regret that moment

 when I stole that first kiss

not the peck outside the diner

but the one outside the bar

and later in the car

feeling you shudder

when my fingers not so accidentally

 touched what nuns told us was forbidden

I don't regret doing it deliberately even later

cupping you up in the palms of my hands

like I would two bowls of Jello my mouth

aching  to taste

I regret letting all that slip away

even though I still dream

 and still do it in my head

email to Al Sullivan

toll. 2014

  

I come not for those ladies

who charge a toll for me to woo

those wanton ladies who act so chaste

yet will trade for gold to get below their waist

I do not deny their right for fair

 I would give my all to touch their hair

 that tender woman who would have me near

 who would tell me no until we make it clear

this for that is where it's at

while I leap ahead blind as a bat

 you make no bones about that

what we do make no pretense

when it comes to woo

 she who I dream of at night

 even though I have no right

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touch it 2014

 

if you touch it too hard it goes away

 this is the nature of it

 how to handle it carefully

like nitro

gentle yet rough enough

how to hold it in your hands

and shape it into what you need it to be

 a risky combination

we dare to address

to take it inside to roll it over

 and touch it

 all to consume it

 taste it swallow it whole

 yet not set it off

 to possess it without destroying it

 what is or what it means

 tender enough to feel its love

yet love enough to make it respond

 I had it and embrace it

even if pursuing it

I am terrified I might lose it

after all

 

email to Al Sullivan

Anticipation (2015)

 

I always dream of holding you

Pressing our body against mine

Feeling your warmth

Your softness,

Tasting your taste

When we kiss,

Always on the brink

Of a plunge I am

Reluctant to take

The build up to that

Moment as good

As the climaz,

Like an old movie

Where the hero

Wins the girl

Yet before he has

His way with her,

The holding, the touching

The tasting, tender

Mercies we feel

When we ache yet

Have not engaged,

Fingers feeling the

Soft places,

The rest of me aches

To reach,

Finding intense

Satisfaction in being

So close, yet

Not fully emersed,

The thrill of the dive

Before hitting

The water.

 

email to Al Sullivan

Hot wax on my fingers (2015)

  

I light candles

On my dinner table

And watch the wax

Drip down its

Long tapered sides

And I think of you,

What if these were

Your fingers

Instead of mind,

Feeling the sting

Of the hot wax

Where I hold too long

Or stroke too hard,

As if what I do

Causes the candles

To burn and melt,

Each stroke

Drawing out of it

This precious fluid

The sting of which

On my fingers

Also brings me

Pleasure,

Thinking it is you,

Who causes it

When if is my thinking

Of you that does,

Imagining again

The touch of you

On me that stirs up

This hot wax scalding

As it always has

And always will.

email to Al Sullivan